Monday, December 28, 2009

Holiday Thoughts

When I started writing my Christmas cards last week, I stopped to think about what thoughts and feelings to put in each one. That then prompted me to think about what gifts I had actually gotten for everyone.

I naturally then started thinking about the amount of money I had spent overall and on each individual gift.

But I abruptly stopped myself.

These people are my family, and I shouldn't be worrying so much about my budget when it comes to people I love. I'm not hard up for cash or deep in debt, so why do I need to keep what I spend on my loved ones to a certain dollar value?

So I went out and bought some more gifts.

It felt good.

Merry Christmas

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Tipping Point

They say a watched pot never boils.

But what about when you ignore it?
Does it boil sooner?

Obviously, I couldn't care less about boiling pots, but the human will and the extent of a person's patience is something that has always fascinated me.

I consider it both part nature and nurture that make up one's limits of patience.

I, myself, have always been a very patient person.
As much as I've wanted certain things as badly as others, I've always been more than willing to take my time and wait....................................................................................and wait..................
and wait...................................................................

................ and wait some more when I'm trying to accomplish or hope for anything.

That doesn't mean I can't react quickly when I need to or want to, but it just means I believe certain things are worth waiting for - even if its not always easy waiting for them.

But sooner or later, everyone comes across something that they wait for and wait for but never get.

Maybe its something you can't predict,
or something you want but may just never obtain or have happen.

You tell yourself to give it time......
..........because "patience is a virtue" ................... right???

But what's your breaking point?
How much can you take?
At what point does patience become cowardice or laziness?

What will make YOUR pot boil over to action because you've waited too long?????

Friday, October 23, 2009

Escaping Dreamland

In the morning I'll wake,
to greet the sun.
And if when my eyes open,
it doesn't show,
I'll await my love,
with my own anxious glow.
With patience I'll wait,
for the soft rays of light,
anticipating an invitation,
to step out from this long night.
And though I remain,
a man of quiet dignity,
I hold my hopes and fears,
close by my side,
protected from the darkness of my dreams,
that precede the morning light.
But even I know,
they can't stay safe forever,
I must still sleep tonight.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


And it occurred to me then,
that a memory is just
a snapshot of a distant scene,
from a faulty camera in our mind.
And it's with that thought
that I view our love,
as a photo montage
of random shots,
some blurred,
some skewed,
yet the lens of my heart
makes them perfectly clear
when they're memories of you.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Pimpin' Ain't Easy, But Healthy Is

I have no intention of making this post sound like a stupid book promotion, but fair warning - my content and information may be similar. I just don't have any hopes of making any profit off of it.
(except, of course, for the satisfaction of imagining I might be helping one of the people who accidentally stumble across my blog while searching for internet porn. One can dream......)


If you really know me, you know I am a very healthy person in different aspects. If you ever see me eating or drinking a lot, its probably the only time that week I'm straying from my average daily diet of mostly protein shakes, salads, oatmeal and FiberOne or Kashi cereal.

But of course, in addition to how I eat, I also hit the gym on a regular basis.
You can usually find me there about 5-6 times a week either lifting weights, hitting the heavy bag, on the bike, etc.

I also do a lot of reading and research into exercises, supplements, training methods, nutrition, etc., so I think I'm pretty well-versed about the topics.

Imagine my dismay when I read this cover story from TIME magazine.

So not only do most overweight people not exercise already, but NOW they're going to think it's just a waste of time anyway!!

Awesome job, TIME magazine!!
Thanks for doing your part to help the obesity epidemic in America!

Now I'm not about to break-down this story and explain why it's shitty - Mens Health already did that for me.

However, I will skip all the BS and give you the information that matters, which is this:

Exercise is great for your heart and muscles and to help burn calories, but
DIET is MUCH MORE important to weight loss than exercise.

No wonder so many people stop going to the gym or give up on exercise altogether after a few months: there's an overwhelming feeling of failure when all that effort doesn't show in the mirror.

It's very naive to think that going to the gym everyday will give you the body you dream of. It's actually what you eat that will have a bigger impact on how much excess weight you're carrying around.

My advice?
Make a change -- some kind of positive change -- to your diet.

A great place to start is by cutting out the extra sugars and simple carbs.
That means water instead of soda, juice or sweetened teas.
That also means no candy.

Like sandwiches?
Skip the bagels, breads and wraps and try a croissant instead.

Add some more veggies or meat to your meal and drop the excess rice, pasta and bread.

It may not seem like much, but it's a start, and every goal worth reaching begins with a first step.


Thursday, July 30, 2009

Life Advice

I'm a young least by most standards.

I may have a few hidden gray hairs here and there, but I'm wrinkle-free, unmarried and don't have any kids. (that I know of!) :-P

Yet, I believe I've lived long enough to have truly learned some important life lessons.

Sometimes we know and believe things that may seem instinctive to us, but we take it for granted that it was usually a certain experience or interaction with a specific person who helped us to learn it.

But whatever the source, I hold these bits of knowledge very dear and rely on them to be the structure by which I build my life upon.

Even more important still, I'm always learning more vital lessons that help to reinforce my character and outlook on life.

So enough of the banter........let's begin the lesson.

Let's start with the end -- Death.

I've been unfortunate in the sense that I've had to deal with deaths slightly more often than most people I know.

Luckily nobody in my immediate family has passed, but I've lost grandparents, uncles, high school friends and others. Some of those very close to me have also lost people very close to them, so I've dealt with death on many occasions in one way or another.

There's one piece of wisdom I'd like to share when it comes to consoling someone who's lost someone they care about, and that is, don't ever try to rationalize it.

By that, I mean that what they're going through isn't like any other common problem in life that people experience. It's not a time for advice and not a time for any kind of logical explanation.

It is just a time for comfort and understanding. Period.

Don't remind them how long the person lived, or how good a life they may have had.
That does nothing.
The numbers of years, or degree to which their life was admirable does no good in consoling an ailing heart.

The best sympathy is that which provides silent consolation and sincere understanding.
Don't rationalize - just comfort.

Love them, support them, and let them know you're there for them.

No explanation required.

Friday, June 26, 2009

On a Day Like Today

A lot has happened since my last post.
Wonderful things, and heart-breaking things........

I was debating about posting, and had actually almost completed, a detailed account of my Miami experience. But alas, too much other crap has happened that maybe it wasn't worth it to dedicate a whole post to.

A few bachelor parties with life-long memories occurred.
Phil, Joe, Raktim, Pranav.
Montreal, AC, Montreal again, Miami.

There was plenty of strip clubs, drinking, clubbing, drinking, dancing, drinking, swimming, drinking, more strippers, more drinking, late night robbery and half-naked foot chases, police reports, and nearly missed flights.

Ahhhhhh................definitely some legendary times.

Then of course, we had some weddings for those bachelors.
Also fun times.

I'm very happy for my friends who are taking these big steps in their lives and relationships.

Not everyone is able to find someone they would want to spend the rest of their lives with, so it warms my heart to see them so happy with their loved ones.

Some people would give up anything just to fall in love once, while others may find someone special but the desire to get married isn't mutual or the relationship doesn't last for one reason or another.

......and which situation is worse?

If you had your heart set on being married with a family some day, and the person you're in love with doesn't want the same or it doesn't work out, how do you proceed?
On the other hand, what if you've never been able to find someone you really connect with and never experience a passionate relationship?

It may sound cliché, but is it really better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all??

I'm a private person, so I don't like to divulge all my personal matters, but I'd like to think on some level I can try and make the one or two people that actually read this stop and contemplate life, love and other matters in their lives for a moment. Introspection is healthy and keeps you well-grounded. People should try it more often.

Just something to ponder.............

...............or not.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Growing Pains

It's hard to find someone that truly enjoys aging.

Aside from maybe the young teenager just ITCHING to be old enough to drive, or the pre-teen who can't wait to go to high school, nobody likes getting older.

Age = DEATH!!

OK - So maybe that's an exaggeration, but the truth is once you become an adult, the concept of aging brings with it just a slight tinge of sublime sadness. Nobody wants to be one step closer to death, but that's just what aging does to us.

Now don't take me as a pessimist - I'm not. On the contrary - I'm quite the optimist.
I know happy people with much to live for hardly ever dwell on getting older.


Because aside from aging just bringing us closer to death, it also brings us closer to LIFE.

As we mature and grow older - no matter our exact age - what we want in life and from life changes.

Through the events we experience and the people we interact with, our ideas of how we want to live evolve, as do what we find happiness in.

What we wanted in life just a few short years or months ago could be a distant memory compared to what we realize we now desire.

So with this realm of ever-changing possibilities comes a staunch realization that nothing in life is certain - especially what we think we want out of it.

"The only thing that is constant is change"

And with this realization, we must learn to adapt and persevere and fight for what brings us joy in life, even if it is only for a brief moment in time. living life to the fullest.

It just sometimes takes some growing up to learn that.

Monday, May 11, 2009

How Are You?

How do you usually react when you greet someone you haven't seen in a while and you get the inevitable question -- "How are you?"

Personally, I hate that question.

I tend to narrow my replies to one of two answers -- OK or good.
Good is the positive answer. It implies things are going well in general.
OK is the neutral or negative answer. It implies that things are either just average or not too hot right now.

I don't feel like a negative reply is an option because then most people will start asking more questions to find out details of why you're not "good." That just leads to awkwardness if you don't want to go into specifics, etc. etc............

They are incredibly vague replies, but honestly, when someone asks you that question they don't expect a lengthy, thoughtful answer, right?
Of course not!

But does that mean you have to lie?

If I've been sick, or depressed, or been having some shitty luck or whatever, I'm not going to SAY all that when they ask.

So why is that even a standard greeting?
I hate it!!


I'm ok.

Here's some stuff to make you feel good..............

Monday, April 20, 2009

Warmth of the Heart

Sunlight is more of a savior than many realize.

It's nature's catalyst for rebirth and growth, and helps to rejuvenate the minds of men that have stood cold and stale during the bitter months of Winter.

It enlivens emotion and ambition, and gives optimism to weary thoughts that have stayed dormant for far too long.

At last...................Spring is here!!!
Welcome again to baseball, fishing, hiking, lounging, running and camping!

And maybe.......more writings also......


It's only the music,
persistent beats
lifestyle sounds,
rhythms and
outlines of other lives,
profiles of vagrant minds,
giving emotion
to the constant pulsing.
It's only imagination
giving life
and moving time,
bouncing beats
across the mind.
It's only rhythm
wandering my eyes
and enticing the sights,
conjuring thoughts
of forgotten nights.
It's only the music
that makes it right.
It's only the music
that gives me life.

Monday, March 23, 2009

The Swinging Door

Sometimes in life, we make mistakes.

We do something (or DON'T do something) that we end up regretting for some time after.

Maybe it's something we didn't even realize until it comes back around to bite us in the ass.

Maybe it's something you did to someone that, years later, someone ends up doing to you.

A turning of the tables, if you will......

Regret is one of the hardest things to live with.
There's no going back, no taking it back, and no backing out of the consequences of what you did.

If you've reached the point where you at least regret something, then you've salvaged some hope because at the very least, it makes you realize what you had done, and therefore, forced you to learn from it.

If you're one of the lucky ones, the price you pay consists only of the negative memories, and nothing more.

But if you're one of the not-so-fortunate, you might get done to you what you had once done to someone else.

This is karma at its worst.

Intentional or not, regretted or not, the balance of energy has come full circle, and now it's your turn to deal with the results of someone else's actions that, quite possibly, were directly due to your own actions long ago.


So am I.

But no need to over analyze.
At the very least, I hope I made someone think a little deeper, if even for a few seconds.

Enough rambling............

I am READY for Spring to be here already.
I need some warmth and sunlight and green nature.

Which means I am undoubtedly excited about TROUT SEASON OPENING DAY!!

Saturday, April 11th.

Let the countdown begin..............

Friday, March 6, 2009

Birthday Blah

Another year, another party...........
Well, not JUST another party. I got wayy too smashed at this party.
Like as in black-out smashed, which is why I'm not too proud of what I'm hearing I did during some of those hours that I don't remember at all.

So - no picts posted here. Sorry.

I'll admit, I'm glad everyone seemed to have a great time, but never again will I drink like that. Never again.......

Anyway, I haven't shared my writings in a while so I thought I would.



To say the least,
I suffer most,
when opportunities are found,
but it's time that's lost.
Hopes fly high,
while expectations stay low,
inspiration comes,
while the emotion goes.
My imagination wanders,
yet my heart stays true.
It's the moments of strangeness
my soul always knows,
a melodic tune,
a forgotten prose.
All work and no play
can't work for everyday.
But coming full circle,
to get straight to the point,
I tip-toe a line
between black and white,
dreading the day,
and dreaming away the night.................

Monday, February 23, 2009

Paradise Lost

It's a very uneasy feeling you experience when something that you were looking forward to with such eager anticipation and excitement, just blows up in your face at the last minute.

Part of my frustration is that there are very few things in this life that truly excite me.
Likewise, there's very few times in this life that I've been so utterly disappointed as I am right now.

My excitement came from the opportunity to apply for the best job in the world!

A DREAM job for me.
A tropical island.
The sun, surf, thousands of wonderful fish and other animals...........
Perhaps I just got over-excited at the opportunity for something different, even though it was seemingly unattainable from the onset. But nevertheless, I was looking forward to just a shot at applying as a once-in-a-lifetime chance that I couldn't pass up.

Either way, it's an incredible combination of some of the things I really love in this world, and I couldn't help but be excited to apply............
...and because of that, I'm all the more disappointed that I wasn't able to.

It just seemed to be one frustrating setback after another.
First, where to find a camera.

I found one to borrow, but then he needed it back.
Then I found another one through a generous friend of a friend.

So I had a plan for what I would film and how the video application would look.
It was PERFECT in my mind, and not too hard to do.

Next setback -- I couldn't get friends together to film the scenes with me.
Business trips, planning weddings, having babies...........

So that forced a change of plan.
Now, instead of filming so much, I'd just needed them to call a phone number and leave a message saying good things about me and I'd use that as audio for other stuff I'd film.

Next setback -- nobody was calling or even replying to me.
I had to contact people again BEGGING to please call.
It came down to 2 days before the video was due and only 1 person had called.
This is really when I started feeling the tinge of disappointment.

Are they busy?
Are they not taking me seriously?
Do they just not care?
I wasn't sure what to think.

Finally, on Saturday, after reminding people, I had a handful of messages to work with and had filmed what I needed.
More setbacks Saturday night meant no real editing until Sunday.

Sunday I finally get to edit the video after a crash course in iMovie and GarageBand.
By this point, I'm frustrated but getting it done, and I reached the point where I just wanted to get it finished and submitted.

I go to the website to submit it and.............

The deadline was midnight on the 22nd........................... in UTC time!!!!

I missed it by 45 minutes!!!


The only thing that bothered me more than settling for a video I wasn't very proud of was knowing that after all was said and done, I really only have myself to blame for everything.
I should have never let myself get that excited.
I should have never allowed myself to rely on anyone else to help me.
I should have done stuff a lot earlier.

It's done with.

Here's what I ended up with if anyone cares........

Friday, February 13, 2009


back and forth
left to right
sands of time
twist and wind
like a clock
tick and tock
fades away
wall to wall
in a cage
same old game
round and round
world of play
bound in chains
dying dreams
fading day
after day
so much life
fades away
born in hope
dead in time
trapped in maze
rats and minds
none are free
sets in slow
seems to grow
dreams like waves
swept away
crumbling soul
shattered hope
day to day
try to cope
looking close
they're all drones
in disguise
made with bones
bloodshot eyes
little kids
boys and girls
hide behind
adult world
killing time
just like day
after day
fading dreams
fade away
like our minds
turn to stone
dying dreams
living drones

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Doing it My Way

Keeping it short but sweet this post.

Work, life, love, weather, etc., all taking up time.

(ok probably not THAT much, but still.....)

I'm a big fan of Frank Sinatra, and also a big fan of Bono.
Did you know he's the only person to ever be nominated for an Academy Award, Golden Globe, Grammy, and Nobel Peace Prize??

So it's very cool to read this editorial from Bono regarding the current times and new year and how 'Old Blue Eyes' can help us relate to it.

And if you haven't recently, go listen to some classic Sinatra.
It'll do your soul good.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Welcome To My Island

Mention the words "paradise" or "tropical" and most people tend to immediately think of some deserted island, with powdery white sand and crystal blue water, and nothing on the horizon but a giant orange sun and the reflection of waves as they bounce off in the distance.

I imagine myself in a beach chair made of native wood, sipping a Corona or a margarita under the cool shade of a giant palm tree and a coconut falling on my head.

(maybe not the coconut part....)


Back to reality!!

I've found myself lacking a lot of motivation as of late.
Besides working out and going to the gym, and maybe my writing, I've come to realize that I don't have much motivation when it comes to any other aspect of my life - especially my career.
Don't get me wrong, I'm very fortunate and thankful for my current position, but does it bring me a sense of accomplishment?

Do I have any passion for what I do?
Unfortunately, yet again, no.

I don't despise it, but I can't deny the urge to start, well, LIVING a little more of the life I envision in my mind.

For a guy with such an active imagination, this may be a challenge, but I can't help it! Be it a selfish notion or not, I see myself doing something remarkable and admirable. Whether it's something that makes me famous, or rich, or loved the world over, there's just something ELSE I need to do some why not make that day come sooner rather than later????

Having said that, I have decided to apply for the best job in the world.

I can't quite explain the new sense of excitement I've had since Flor sent me that link this morning.

It's not just an escape - I LOVE nature and the ocean!

Anyone who knows anything about me knows I love fishing and camping and hiking and bugs and being outdoors for any an all reasons. Boating, crabbing, lobstering, kayaking, rock-climbing, trail-running, snorkeling................I'm there!

Could this be something I was meant to do???

We'll see.............

I'll be accepting any ideas for the video application I have to send in.
Can you think of something I should say or show?
Let me know!!

..............and if I by some chance make it, you're invited for a drink and a naked romp around my island!

Link: Beyoncé et Justin Timberlake (SNL)

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Doing Fine in '09

2008 was a year that seemed so much longer than it actually was.

A lot happened.

Engagements, weddings, babies, deaths.........

It was a year of firsts,
a year of accomplishments,
a year of regrets,
and a year of hard work.

As I look back on it, the optimist in me can't help but think it was a positive year.

I wouldn't say I'm lucky, but on the whole, things went well for me.
Although, most people who know me would totally disagree and say that I am indeed lucky.
Oddly enough, when it comes to something totally random like a scratch-off lottery ticket, I tend to win more times than not, while others don't.
Then there's gambling, but my game is blackjack and I think that requires just enough skill to say that you can't entirely rely on luck alone in order to be a winner.

(Then again, I did lose a nice chunk of change on New Years Eve in AC with all the 13s and 14s I was getting, and all the 20s and blackjacks the dealer was getting)

BUT, as this editorial can attest, luck is likely just a state of mind combined with the amount of tension you feel.

For a person like me who is usually mellow, this may just explain it.

I don't have any real resolutions this year - other than to keep up with the fitness regimen I've been on the past few weeks, and to pursue more enriching activities to fill my time with.

Career-wise, it's hard to give up something so stable in times like this, but the thoughts of pursuing something new are there.

Perhaps a Masters degree?
A new line of work?

Can you picture me giving up my high-paying job in S0Ho and becoming a Personal Trainer in San Diego or a Nature Survivalist in Colorado??? (seriously...........can you?)

I, as well as others I'm close to, are beginning to rethink what makes us happy in life - friends, family, career, ambitions, etc., and attempt to move in the direction of a more fulfilling existence.

Some have referred to it as a "quarter-life crisis."
While that does accurately describe it to a degree, it's hard to sum up all the doubts and anxieties in one little stupid catch phrase.

Either way, I look forward to 2009 with the same optimism I brought from 2008, and I wish the best out of life for all those I care for as well as myself.

And of course, it's always necessary to keep one's sense of humor......