A lot has happened since my last post.
Wonderful things, and heart-breaking things........
I was debating about posting, and had actually almost completed, a detailed account of my Miami experience. But alas, too much other crap has happened that maybe it wasn't worth it to dedicate a whole post to.
Anyway.....
A few bachelor parties with life-long memories occurred.
Phil, Joe, Raktim, Pranav.
Montreal, AC, Montreal again, Miami.
There was plenty of strip clubs, drinking, clubbing, drinking, dancing, drinking, swimming, drinking, more strippers, more drinking, late night robbery and half-naked foot chases, police reports, and nearly missed flights.
Ahhhhhh................definitely some legendary times.
Then of course, we had some weddings for those bachelors.
Also fun times.
I'm very happy for my friends who are taking these big steps in their lives and relationships.
Not everyone is able to find someone they would want to spend the rest of their lives with, so it warms my heart to see them so happy with their loved ones.
Some people would give up anything just to fall in love once, while others may find someone special but the desire to get married isn't mutual or the relationship doesn't last for one reason or another.
......and which situation is worse?
If you had your heart set on being married with a family some day, and the person you're in love with doesn't want the same or it doesn't work out, how do you proceed?
On the other hand, what if you've never been able to find someone you really connect with and never experience a passionate relationship?
It may sound cliché, but is it really better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all??
I'm a private person, so I don't like to divulge all my personal matters, but I'd like to think on some level I can try and make the one or two people that actually read this stop and contemplate life, love and other matters in their lives for a moment. Introspection is healthy and keeps you well-grounded. People should try it more often.
Just something to ponder.............
...............or not.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Growing Pains
It's hard to find someone that truly enjoys aging.
Aside from maybe the young teenager just ITCHING to be old enough to drive, or the pre-teen who can't wait to go to high school, nobody likes getting older.
Age = DEATH!!
OK - So maybe that's an exaggeration, but the truth is once you become an adult, the concept of aging brings with it just a slight tinge of sublime sadness. Nobody wants to be one step closer to death, but that's just what aging does to us.
Now don't take me as a pessimist - I'm not. On the contrary - I'm quite the optimist.
I know happy people with much to live for hardly ever dwell on getting older.
Why?
Because aside from aging just bringing us closer to death, it also brings us closer to LIFE.
As we mature and grow older - no matter our exact age - what we want in life and from life changes.
Through the events we experience and the people we interact with, our ideas of how we want to live evolve, as do what we find happiness in.
What we wanted in life just a few short years or months ago could be a distant memory compared to what we realize we now desire.
So with this realm of ever-changing possibilities comes a staunch realization that nothing in life is certain - especially what we think we want out of it.
"The only thing that is constant is change"
And with this realization, we must learn to adapt and persevere and fight for what brings us joy in life, even if it is only for a brief moment in time.
That................is living life to the fullest.
It just sometimes takes some growing up to learn that.
Aside from maybe the young teenager just ITCHING to be old enough to drive, or the pre-teen who can't wait to go to high school, nobody likes getting older.
Age = DEATH!!
OK - So maybe that's an exaggeration, but the truth is once you become an adult, the concept of aging brings with it just a slight tinge of sublime sadness. Nobody wants to be one step closer to death, but that's just what aging does to us.
Now don't take me as a pessimist - I'm not. On the contrary - I'm quite the optimist.
I know happy people with much to live for hardly ever dwell on getting older.
Why?
Because aside from aging just bringing us closer to death, it also brings us closer to LIFE.
As we mature and grow older - no matter our exact age - what we want in life and from life changes.
Through the events we experience and the people we interact with, our ideas of how we want to live evolve, as do what we find happiness in.
What we wanted in life just a few short years or months ago could be a distant memory compared to what we realize we now desire.
So with this realm of ever-changing possibilities comes a staunch realization that nothing in life is certain - especially what we think we want out of it.
"The only thing that is constant is change"
And with this realization, we must learn to adapt and persevere and fight for what brings us joy in life, even if it is only for a brief moment in time.
That................is living life to the fullest.
It just sometimes takes some growing up to learn that.
Monday, May 11, 2009
How Are You?
How do you usually react when you greet someone you haven't seen in a while and you get the inevitable question -- "How are you?"
Personally, I hate that question.
I tend to narrow my replies to one of two answers -- OK or good.
Good is the positive answer. It implies things are going well in general.
OK is the neutral or negative answer. It implies that things are either just average or not too hot right now.
I don't feel like a negative reply is an option because then most people will start asking more questions to find out details of why you're not "good." That just leads to awkwardness if you don't want to go into specifics, etc. etc............
They are incredibly vague replies, but honestly, when someone asks you that question they don't expect a lengthy, thoughtful answer, right?
Of course not!
But does that mean you have to lie?
If I've been sick, or depressed, or been having some shitty luck or whatever, I'm not going to SAY all that when they ask.
So why is that even a standard greeting?
I hate it!!
Anyway.................
I'm ok.
Here's some stuff to make you feel good..............
Personally, I hate that question.
I tend to narrow my replies to one of two answers -- OK or good.
Good is the positive answer. It implies things are going well in general.
OK is the neutral or negative answer. It implies that things are either just average or not too hot right now.
I don't feel like a negative reply is an option because then most people will start asking more questions to find out details of why you're not "good." That just leads to awkwardness if you don't want to go into specifics, etc. etc............
They are incredibly vague replies, but honestly, when someone asks you that question they don't expect a lengthy, thoughtful answer, right?
Of course not!
But does that mean you have to lie?
If I've been sick, or depressed, or been having some shitty luck or whatever, I'm not going to SAY all that when they ask.
So why is that even a standard greeting?
I hate it!!
Anyway.................
I'm ok.
Here's some stuff to make you feel good..............
Monday, April 20, 2009
Warmth of the Heart
Sunlight is more of a savior than many realize.
It's nature's catalyst for rebirth and growth, and helps to rejuvenate the minds of men that have stood cold and stale during the bitter months of Winter.
It enlivens emotion and ambition, and gives optimism to weary thoughts that have stayed dormant for far too long.
At last...................Spring is here!!!
Welcome again to baseball, fishing, hiking, lounging, running and camping!
And maybe.......more writings also......
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
It's only the music,
persistent beats
lifestyle sounds,
rhythms and
musings,
outlines of other lives,
profiles of vagrant minds,
giving emotion
to the constant pulsing.
It's only imagination
giving life
and moving time,
bouncing beats
across the mind.
It's only rhythm
wandering my eyes
and enticing the sights,
conjuring thoughts
of forgotten nights.
It's only the music
that makes it right.
It's only the music
that gives me life.
It's nature's catalyst for rebirth and growth, and helps to rejuvenate the minds of men that have stood cold and stale during the bitter months of Winter.
It enlivens emotion and ambition, and gives optimism to weary thoughts that have stayed dormant for far too long.
At last...................Spring is here!!!
Welcome again to baseball, fishing, hiking, lounging, running and camping!
And maybe.......more writings also......
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
It's only the music,
persistent beats
lifestyle sounds,
rhythms and
musings,
outlines of other lives,
profiles of vagrant minds,
giving emotion
to the constant pulsing.
It's only imagination
giving life
and moving time,
bouncing beats
across the mind.
It's only rhythm
wandering my eyes
and enticing the sights,
conjuring thoughts
of forgotten nights.
It's only the music
that makes it right.
It's only the music
that gives me life.
Monday, March 23, 2009
The Swinging Door
Sometimes in life, we make mistakes.
We do something (or DON'T do something) that we end up regretting for some time after.
Maybe it's something we didn't even realize until it comes back around to bite us in the ass.
Maybe it's something you did to someone that, years later, someone ends up doing to you.
A turning of the tables, if you will......
Regret is one of the hardest things to live with.
There's no going back, no taking it back, and no backing out of the consequences of what you did.
If you've reached the point where you at least regret something, then you've salvaged some hope because at the very least, it makes you realize what you had done, and therefore, forced you to learn from it.
If you're one of the lucky ones, the price you pay consists only of the negative memories, and nothing more.
But if you're one of the not-so-fortunate, you might get done to you what you had once done to someone else.
This is karma at its worst.
Intentional or not, regretted or not, the balance of energy has come full circle, and now it's your turn to deal with the results of someone else's actions that, quite possibly, were directly due to your own actions long ago.
Confused??????
Good.
So am I.
But no need to over analyze.
At the very least, I hope I made someone think a little deeper, if even for a few seconds.
Enough rambling............
I am READY for Spring to be here already.
I need some warmth and sunlight and green nature.
Which means I am undoubtedly excited about TROUT SEASON OPENING DAY!!
Saturday, April 11th.
Let the countdown begin..............
We do something (or DON'T do something) that we end up regretting for some time after.
Maybe it's something we didn't even realize until it comes back around to bite us in the ass.
Maybe it's something you did to someone that, years later, someone ends up doing to you.
A turning of the tables, if you will......
Regret is one of the hardest things to live with.
There's no going back, no taking it back, and no backing out of the consequences of what you did.
If you've reached the point where you at least regret something, then you've salvaged some hope because at the very least, it makes you realize what you had done, and therefore, forced you to learn from it.
If you're one of the lucky ones, the price you pay consists only of the negative memories, and nothing more.
But if you're one of the not-so-fortunate, you might get done to you what you had once done to someone else.
This is karma at its worst.
Intentional or not, regretted or not, the balance of energy has come full circle, and now it's your turn to deal with the results of someone else's actions that, quite possibly, were directly due to your own actions long ago.
Confused??????
Good.
So am I.
But no need to over analyze.
At the very least, I hope I made someone think a little deeper, if even for a few seconds.
Enough rambling............
I am READY for Spring to be here already.
I need some warmth and sunlight and green nature.
Which means I am undoubtedly excited about TROUT SEASON OPENING DAY!!
Saturday, April 11th.
Let the countdown begin..............
Friday, March 6, 2009
Birthday Blah
Another year, another party...........
Well, not JUST another party. I got wayy too smashed at this party.
Like as in black-out smashed, which is why I'm not too proud of what I'm hearing I did during some of those hours that I don't remember at all.
So - no picts posted here. Sorry.
I'll admit, I'm glad everyone seemed to have a great time, but never again will I drink like that. Never again.......
Anyway, I haven't shared my writings in a while so I thought I would.
Enjoy.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
To say the least,
I suffer most,
when opportunities are found,
but it's time that's lost.
Hopes fly high,
while expectations stay low,
inspiration comes,
while the emotion goes.
My imagination wanders,
yet my heart stays true.
It's the moments of strangeness
my soul always knows,
a melodic tune,
a forgotten prose.
All work and no play
can't work for everyday.
But coming full circle,
to get straight to the point,
I tip-toe a line
between black and white,
dreading the day,
and dreaming away the night.................
Well, not JUST another party. I got wayy too smashed at this party.
Like as in black-out smashed, which is why I'm not too proud of what I'm hearing I did during some of those hours that I don't remember at all.
So - no picts posted here. Sorry.
I'll admit, I'm glad everyone seemed to have a great time, but never again will I drink like that. Never again.......
Anyway, I haven't shared my writings in a while so I thought I would.
Enjoy.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
To say the least,
I suffer most,
when opportunities are found,
but it's time that's lost.
Hopes fly high,
while expectations stay low,
inspiration comes,
while the emotion goes.
My imagination wanders,
yet my heart stays true.
It's the moments of strangeness
my soul always knows,
a melodic tune,
a forgotten prose.
All work and no play
can't work for everyday.
But coming full circle,
to get straight to the point,
I tip-toe a line
between black and white,
dreading the day,
and dreaming away the night.................
Monday, February 23, 2009
Paradise Lost
It's a very uneasy feeling you experience when something that you were looking forward to with such eager anticipation and excitement, just blows up in your face at the last minute.
Part of my frustration is that there are very few things in this life that truly excite me.
Likewise, there's very few times in this life that I've been so utterly disappointed as I am right now.
My excitement came from the opportunity to apply for the best job in the world!
A DREAM job for me.
A tropical island.
The sun, surf, thousands of wonderful fish and other animals...........
Perhaps I just got over-excited at the opportunity for something different, even though it was seemingly unattainable from the onset. But nevertheless, I was looking forward to just a shot at applying as a once-in-a-lifetime chance that I couldn't pass up.
Either way, it's an incredible combination of some of the things I really love in this world, and I couldn't help but be excited to apply............
...and because of that, I'm all the more disappointed that I wasn't able to.
It just seemed to be one frustrating setback after another.
First, where to find a camera.
I found one to borrow, but then he needed it back.
Then I found another one through a generous friend of a friend.
So I had a plan for what I would film and how the video application would look.
It was PERFECT in my mind, and not too hard to do.
Next setback -- I couldn't get friends together to film the scenes with me.
Business trips, planning weddings, having babies...........
So that forced a change of plan.
Now, instead of filming so much, I'd just needed them to call a phone number and leave a message saying good things about me and I'd use that as audio for other stuff I'd film.
Next setback -- nobody was calling or even replying to me.
I had to contact people again BEGGING to please call.
It came down to 2 days before the video was due and only 1 person had called.
This is really when I started feeling the tinge of disappointment.
Are they busy?
Are they not taking me seriously?
Do they just not care?
I wasn't sure what to think.
Finally, on Saturday, after reminding people, I had a handful of messages to work with and had filmed what I needed.
More setbacks Saturday night meant no real editing until Sunday.
Sunday I finally get to edit the video after a crash course in iMovie and GarageBand.
By this point, I'm frustrated but getting it done, and I reached the point where I just wanted to get it finished and submitted.
Then.....
I go to the website to submit it and.............
SUBMISSIONS ARE CLOSED!!!
The deadline was midnight on the 22nd........................... in UTC time!!!!
I missed it by 45 minutes!!!
Heart-broken.
Disappointed.
Embarrassed.
The only thing that bothered me more than settling for a video I wasn't very proud of was knowing that after all was said and done, I really only have myself to blame for everything.
I should have never let myself get that excited.
I should have never allowed myself to rely on anyone else to help me.
I should have done stuff a lot earlier.
Enough.
It's done with.
Here's what I ended up with if anyone cares........
Part of my frustration is that there are very few things in this life that truly excite me.
Likewise, there's very few times in this life that I've been so utterly disappointed as I am right now.
My excitement came from the opportunity to apply for the best job in the world!
A DREAM job for me.
A tropical island.
The sun, surf, thousands of wonderful fish and other animals...........
Perhaps I just got over-excited at the opportunity for something different, even though it was seemingly unattainable from the onset. But nevertheless, I was looking forward to just a shot at applying as a once-in-a-lifetime chance that I couldn't pass up.
Either way, it's an incredible combination of some of the things I really love in this world, and I couldn't help but be excited to apply............
...and because of that, I'm all the more disappointed that I wasn't able to.
It just seemed to be one frustrating setback after another.
First, where to find a camera.
I found one to borrow, but then he needed it back.
Then I found another one through a generous friend of a friend.
So I had a plan for what I would film and how the video application would look.
It was PERFECT in my mind, and not too hard to do.
Next setback -- I couldn't get friends together to film the scenes with me.
Business trips, planning weddings, having babies...........
So that forced a change of plan.
Now, instead of filming so much, I'd just needed them to call a phone number and leave a message saying good things about me and I'd use that as audio for other stuff I'd film.
Next setback -- nobody was calling or even replying to me.
I had to contact people again BEGGING to please call.
It came down to 2 days before the video was due and only 1 person had called.
This is really when I started feeling the tinge of disappointment.
Are they busy?
Are they not taking me seriously?
Do they just not care?
I wasn't sure what to think.
Finally, on Saturday, after reminding people, I had a handful of messages to work with and had filmed what I needed.
More setbacks Saturday night meant no real editing until Sunday.
Sunday I finally get to edit the video after a crash course in iMovie and GarageBand.
By this point, I'm frustrated but getting it done, and I reached the point where I just wanted to get it finished and submitted.
Then.....
I go to the website to submit it and.............
SUBMISSIONS ARE CLOSED!!!
The deadline was midnight on the 22nd........................... in UTC time!!!!
I missed it by 45 minutes!!!
Heart-broken.
Disappointed.
Embarrassed.
The only thing that bothered me more than settling for a video I wasn't very proud of was knowing that after all was said and done, I really only have myself to blame for everything.
I should have never let myself get that excited.
I should have never allowed myself to rely on anyone else to help me.
I should have done stuff a lot earlier.
Enough.
It's done with.
Here's what I ended up with if anyone cares........
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