Thursday, July 30, 2009

Life Advice

I'm a young least by most standards.

I may have a few hidden gray hairs here and there, but I'm wrinkle-free, unmarried and don't have any kids. (that I know of!) :-P

Yet, I believe I've lived long enough to have truly learned some important life lessons.

Sometimes we know and believe things that may seem instinctive to us, but we take it for granted that it was usually a certain experience or interaction with a specific person who helped us to learn it.

But whatever the source, I hold these bits of knowledge very dear and rely on them to be the structure by which I build my life upon.

Even more important still, I'm always learning more vital lessons that help to reinforce my character and outlook on life.

So enough of the banter........let's begin the lesson.

Let's start with the end -- Death.

I've been unfortunate in the sense that I've had to deal with deaths slightly more often than most people I know.

Luckily nobody in my immediate family has passed, but I've lost grandparents, uncles, high school friends and others. Some of those very close to me have also lost people very close to them, so I've dealt with death on many occasions in one way or another.

There's one piece of wisdom I'd like to share when it comes to consoling someone who's lost someone they care about, and that is, don't ever try to rationalize it.

By that, I mean that what they're going through isn't like any other common problem in life that people experience. It's not a time for advice and not a time for any kind of logical explanation.

It is just a time for comfort and understanding. Period.

Don't remind them how long the person lived, or how good a life they may have had.
That does nothing.
The numbers of years, or degree to which their life was admirable does no good in consoling an ailing heart.

The best sympathy is that which provides silent consolation and sincere understanding.
Don't rationalize - just comfort.

Love them, support them, and let them know you're there for them.

No explanation required.