Warmth of the Heart

Sunlight is more of a savior than many realize.

It's nature's catalyst for rebirth and growth, and helps to rejuvenate the minds of men that have stood cold and stale during the bitter months of Winter.

It enlivens emotion and ambition, and gives optimism to weary thoughts that have stayed dormant for far too long.

At last...................Spring is here!!!
Welcome again to baseball, fishing, hiking, lounging, running and camping!

And maybe.......more writings also......

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

It's only the music,
persistent beats
lifestyle sounds,
rhythms and
musings,
outlines of other lives,
profiles of vagrant minds,
giving emotion
to the constant pulsing.
It's only imagination
giving life
and moving time,
bouncing beats
across the mind.
It's only rhythm
wandering my eyes
and enticing the sights,
conjuring thoughts
of forgotten nights.
It's only the music
that makes it right.
It's only the music
that gives me life.

The Swinging Door

Sometimes in life, we make mistakes.

We do something (or DON'T do something) that we end up regretting for some time after.

Maybe it's something we didn't even realize until it comes back around to bite us in the ass.

Maybe it's something you did to someone that, years later, someone ends up doing to you.

A turning of the tables, if you will......

Regret is one of the hardest things to live with.
There's no going back, no taking it back, and no backing out of the consequences of what you did.

If you've reached the point where you at least regret something, then you've salvaged some hope because at the very least, it makes you realize what you had done, and therefore, forced you to learn from it.

If you're one of the lucky ones, the price you pay consists only of the negative memories, and nothing more.

But if you're one of the not-so-fortunate, you might get done to you what you had once done to someone else.

This is karma at its worst.

Intentional or not, regretted or not, the balance of energy has come full circle, and now it's your turn to deal with the results of someone else's actions that, quite possibly, were directly due to your own actions long ago.

Confused??????

Good.
So am I.

But no need to over analyze.
At the very least, I hope I made someone think a little deeper, if even for a few seconds.



Enough rambling............

I am READY for Spring to be here already.
I need some warmth and sunlight and green nature.

Which means I am undoubtedly excited about TROUT SEASON OPENING DAY!!

Saturday, April 11th.

Let the countdown begin..............

Birthday Blah

Another year, another party...........
Well, not JUST another party. I got wayy too smashed at this party.
Like as in black-out smashed, which is why I'm not too proud of what I'm hearing I did during some of those hours that I don't remember at all.

So - no picts posted here. Sorry.

I'll admit, I'm glad everyone seemed to have a great time, but never again will I drink like that. Never again.......

Anyway, I haven't shared my writings in a while so I thought I would.

Enjoy.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=


To say the least,
I suffer most,
when opportunities are found,
but it's time that's lost.
Hopes fly high,
while expectations stay low,
inspiration comes,
while the emotion goes.
My imagination wanders,
yet my heart stays true.
It's the moments of strangeness
my soul always knows,
a melodic tune,
a forgotten prose.
All work and no play
can't work for everyday.
But coming full circle,
to get straight to the point,
I tip-toe a line
between black and white,
dreading the day,
and dreaming away the night.................

Paradise Lost

It's a very uneasy feeling you experience when something that you were looking forward to with such eager anticipation and excitement, just blows up in your face at the last minute.



Part of my frustration is that there are very few things in this life that truly excite me.
Likewise, there's very few times in this life that I've been so utterly disappointed as I am right now.

My excitement came from the opportunity to apply for the best job in the world!

A DREAM job for me.
A tropical island.
The sun, surf, thousands of wonderful fish and other animals...........
Perhaps I just got over-excited at the opportunity for something different, even though it was seemingly unattainable from the onset. But nevertheless, I was looking forward to just a shot at applying as a once-in-a-lifetime chance that I couldn't pass up.

Either way, it's an incredible combination of some of the things I really love in this world, and I couldn't help but be excited to apply............
...and because of that, I'm all the more disappointed that I wasn't able to.


It just seemed to be one frustrating setback after another.
First, where to find a camera.

I found one to borrow, but then he needed it back.
Then I found another one through a generous friend of a friend.

So I had a plan for what I would film and how the video application would look.
It was PERFECT in my mind, and not too hard to do.

Next setback -- I couldn't get friends together to film the scenes with me.
Business trips, planning weddings, having babies...........

So that forced a change of plan.
Now, instead of filming so much, I'd just needed them to call a phone number and leave a message saying good things about me and I'd use that as audio for other stuff I'd film.

Next setback -- nobody was calling or even replying to me.
I had to contact people again BEGGING to please call.
It came down to 2 days before the video was due and only 1 person had called.
This is really when I started feeling the tinge of disappointment.

Are they busy?
Are they not taking me seriously?
Do they just not care?
I wasn't sure what to think.

Finally, on Saturday, after reminding people, I had a handful of messages to work with and had filmed what I needed.
More setbacks Saturday night meant no real editing until Sunday.

Sunday I finally get to edit the video after a crash course in iMovie and GarageBand.
By this point, I'm frustrated but getting it done, and I reached the point where I just wanted to get it finished and submitted.

Then.....
I go to the website to submit it and.............
SUBMISSIONS ARE CLOSED!!!

The deadline was midnight on the 22nd........................... in UTC time!!!!

I missed it by 45 minutes!!!



Heart-broken.
Disappointed.
Embarrassed.

The only thing that bothered me more than settling for a video I wasn't very proud of was knowing that after all was said and done, I really only have myself to blame for everything.
I should have never let myself get that excited.
I should have never allowed myself to rely on anyone else to help me.
I should have done stuff a lot earlier.


Enough.
It's done with.

Here's what I ended up with if anyone cares........

Drones

back and forth
left to right
sands of time
twist and wind
like a clock
tick and tock
everyday
fades away
wall to wall
in a cage
same old game
everyday
round and round
world of play
bound in chains
dying dreams
fading day
after day
so much life
fades away
born in hope
dead in time
trapped in maze
rats and minds
none are free
reality
sets in slow
seems to grow
dreams like waves
swept away
crumbling soul
shattered hope
day to day
try to cope
looking close
they're all drones
in disguise
made with bones
bloodshot eyes
little kids
boys and girls
hide behind
adult world
killing time
just like day
after day
fading dreams
fade away
like our minds
turn to stone
dying dreams
living drones

Doing it My Way

Keeping it short but sweet this post.

Work, life, love, weather, etc., all taking up time.

(ok probably not THAT much, but still.....)



I'm a big fan of Frank Sinatra, and also a big fan of Bono.
Did you know he's the only person to ever be nominated for an Academy Award, Golden Globe, Grammy, and Nobel Peace Prize??


So it's very cool to read this editorial from Bono regarding the current times and new year and how 'Old Blue Eyes' can help us relate to it.


And if you haven't recently, go listen to some classic Sinatra.
It'll do your soul good.

Welcome To My Island

Mention the words "paradise" or "tropical" and most people tend to immediately think of some deserted island, with powdery white sand and crystal blue water, and nothing on the horizon but a giant orange sun and the reflection of waves as they bounce off in the distance.

I imagine myself in a beach chair made of native wood, sipping a Corona or a margarita under the cool shade of a giant palm tree and a coconut falling on my head.

(maybe not the coconut part....)

ahhh..


Back to reality!!

I've found myself lacking a lot of motivation as of late.
Besides working out and going to the gym, and maybe my writing, I've come to realize that I don't have much motivation when it comes to any other aspect of my life - especially my career.
Don't get me wrong, I'm very fortunate and thankful for my current position, but does it bring me a sense of accomplishment?
No.

Do I have any passion for what I do?
Unfortunately, yet again, no.

I don't despise it, but I can't deny the urge to start, well, LIVING a little more of the life I envision in my mind.

For a guy with such an active imagination, this may be a challenge, but I can't help it! Be it a selfish notion or not, I see myself doing something remarkable and admirable. Whether it's something that makes me famous, or rich, or loved the world over, there's just something ELSE I need to do some day...............so why not make that day come sooner rather than later????

Having said that, I have decided to apply for the best job in the world.

I can't quite explain the new sense of excitement I've had since Flor sent me that link this morning.

It's not just an escape - I LOVE nature and the ocean!

Anyone who knows anything about me knows I love fishing and camping and hiking and bugs and being outdoors for any an all reasons. Boating, crabbing, lobstering, kayaking, rock-climbing, trail-running, snorkeling................I'm there!

Could this be something I was meant to do???

We'll see.............

I'll be accepting any ideas for the video application I have to send in.
Can you think of something I should say or show?
Let me know!!

..............and if I by some chance make it, you're invited for a drink and a naked romp around my island!

Link: